How to Avoid the Advice Giving Trap

No one wants advice — only corroboration — (maybe/maybe not)

Piyush Kamal🎖


Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash

Today everyone has an opinion and advice — sometimes as strong as tartar sitting on our molars.

Frankly speaking, isn’t that always been the case.

Maybe the only difference is that right now everyone’s opinion and advice are right up in your face. Sometimes, obnoxiously so. In fact, you don’t need to venture beyond the territorial periphery of your social media accounts to validate this hypothesis.

But actually, how did we manage to become so cocksure to belch advice at the drop of a hat? Contrast this with the amount of time wasted by an average American on choosing what to watch next on streaming content — forty-five hours per year.

Perhaps a lot of credit goes to the legacy of an archaic education system that seems keen to judge us not on our capability to ask questions but on our ability to answer what has been taught inside classrooms.

However, from the evolutionary perspective, giving advice helps you serve the following ego-based needs at a deeper level —

  1. It makes you look like the smartest one in the room. It makes you look as if you’re adding value to the conversation. It helps people to perceive you in a better light if they happen to find your answers better than others.
  2. It makes you look like an ultimate savior — helping people by extending advice that could save them a lot of agony and frustration.
  3. It helps you in leaving the impression of being in total control. One of the ostensible things about belching advice is that you end up projecting yourself as someone whose hands are always on the steering wheels.

The problem isn’t with giving advice. Instead, the problem is when giving advice becomes our default response.

There are four Ways Your Advice Giving Habit is Mostly Bad —

1. You’re busy solving the wrong problem

Myra had a childless marriage. she was struggling to conceive. This was, undoubtedly a turbulent episode in her married life. She was advised by her family & close friends to go for the IVF.



Piyush Kamal🎖

Published Author Who Loves to Play at the Intersection of Cognitive Psychology, Neuroscience, & Philosophy — Sharing the Slice of Wisdom Not on Paper but Screen